Saturday, June 9, 2007

The Party's Over

I'm convinced. Ordering pizza is the way to have a party. Just the word 'pizza' means party. It also means 'totally casual' which is how I like my parties.
I also like my parties to be over. It is amazing how exhausting it is to be 'on' the whole time. And my being 'on' is probably more exhausting than other people's being 'on'. I mean I have to FEEL for everyone. (Some people call that 'codependency'.) And I have to make sure they're all having the best time they've ever had at a party. They have to feel glorious. And if I get the vibe that they do not feel glorious, then I have to turn up my 'on' switch even stronger. If that doesn't work, well, I'm a complete failure at life.

You can see how this is so exhausting.

Well, now I've retired for the evening and am reveling in knowing that everyone acted as if they felt glorious. That makes me feel glorious. . . well, until I think about it all being only an act and maybe they were actually noticing the dust on the shelves that told the truth after all - I'm not the perfect person they thought I was.

I get ridiculous, I know. ABSOLUTELY RIDICULOUS.

Well, I least now I know it's ridiculous!!!

Actually I'm feeling pretty fine right about now. I'll go put on my pajamas . . . while continuing to enjoy the fact that THE PARTY'S OVER!

(In case you're reading this and you're thinking you weren't invited to this party. Not to worry, it was for my relatives on my dad's side of the family. . . . Hmm. There you see, I'm FEELING for you, the reader. I know, that can be a good thing. But for some of us folks, it can be DEBILITATING. Yeah, you (I) live your life for everyone but YOU, (ME))

I'm gonna go to bed. I'll do that for myself.

1 comment:

laura said...

So who get's to worry about you feeling glorious while you're worrying about everyone else? And so what if people notice you're not perfect? Doesn't it make you feel good when you realize that other people aren't perfect? So really, you not being perfect would make people feel more glorious, because it let's them off the hook of being perfect. Hopefully that made sense.