Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Home Sweet Home . . .

As my husband and my mother will verify, I have always been a homebody.

There is no place like home.

So I'm happy now.

We're home.

We've been to the north of the Red River. Now we're back.

Cozy and snug.

Back in 1989, after my twin died of cancer, I went to a Christian counselor. (You'll see how this relates.)

This counselor helped me in many ways.

One way was this: she had me think of places I'd been that were 'safe places'. Places that made me feel good. Warm, and accepted. .... Loved.

She suggested I think about those places .... dwell on them ... that I 'go there' in my mind. Walk around. 'Be there.' And let them help me with my grief. Let them be what Philippians 4:8 means. (I have that up on top of the side bar now.)

'Course everywhere I 'went' Peggy would be there. We never went anywhere, growing up, without each other. Never.
I thought it would be too painful to think about places in my past... but no, NO.... it helped me so much. SO MUCH.

I say all that to say that the main place I 'went to' when I was going through that counseling in '89 was 3/4 N. Bryan Rd. in Mission, Texas. That was my home... where I grew up (from the third grade on).

I would 'go there' in my mind lots of times back in 1989, when my counselor recommended that ... and since then.... and even today (obviously).

Sadly, some of my blogreaders don't have a good, 'safe' home to think about. But you can think of some place that is wonderful. A neighbor's home. A best friend's home. Why, when I think about it I have A LOT of homes to think about... and not just from my childhood. ... I think of Nana and Daddy Bob's home in Oklahoma. You can't imagine how much love was in that home. The memories from there are SO healing. (I think about that house on Marion VERY often. I like to 'walk through it.')

Also, of course, I think of WHITE HAVEN in little Colfax, Texas. My parents built a home there and moved in in 1977. It was my great grandfather's (Will White's) homesite... and the most wonderful place you can imagine. My kids, Will and Laura, and Peggy's kids, Cap and Elizabeth, have memories from there that will last them their whole lifetime. And they will tell their children and grandchildren about WHITE HAVEN ... where they rode horses (Bullet, Prize, Cherry Muffin, Freckles, El Cid (I think I'm forgetting some), and had hay rides out to the back creek and, perhaps the best part, were pulled on a 'pony cart' by Freckles with my dad being the 'driver'. And there were the Bible readings every morning after breakfast.... oh, and playing Donkey Kong... oh, and the Fourth of July reunions when sometimes well over 100 people from the Will White family would gather under the big trees - with their covered dishes and sweet tea. (Oh my, so many memories.)
(My parents lived there until Oct. '04, when they moved to the Metroplex to be near me.)
Talk about a 'healing-memory-place'.

Well, I started this post with the idea of writing about being glad to be home tonight.

Right now I have tears in my eyes ....
... and I'm feeling very loved... and very much at peace.

Memories can be so wonderful.


I so hope that you, dear blog reader, have memories that will help you, too.
Surely you have some.

Go there... and give yourself some time to just sit and 'walk around'.

(You might need a tissue.)


Elizabeth H. said...

I have tears in my eyes too.

I love thinking about White Haven and telling our kids about it... I wish they could experience it the way we did. It will always be in our hearts, though.

(And Dolly is another horse! Caroline always asks me what my favorite names are for ponies and I always say the same ones you named.)

Nancy said...

Dolly, of course!
Thanks, Elizabeth!!

I still have tears....

Being Beth said...

What a beautiful post, Nancy.

After reading about your safe places, I took a spin around my Grandma's house in Albuquerque, stretched out on her bed, the cool white sheets, the curtains blowing out over me and then whooshing back against the screen with a soft tunk. Felt Grandma rubbing my back and heard her singing "Froggie Went a-Courtin" ummm, hummm, ummm, hummmm.

Thank you for the gift of that memory tonight.

Yeah, I needed a tissue, but only because of the preciousness of having that place that'll always be mine.

Nancy said...

Thanks, Beth.
That is so sweet.
(I thought of you when I said some of that in my post.)

sara [at] journey of doing said...

This is the most beautiful post ever, Aunt Nancy!!!! Those might be the best horse names, ever... too!

I love that verse, too... obviously. ;)

laura said...

Yeah, you can't forget my "best friend" Dolly! Those are wonderful memories. One of my "safe places" is our home on Jackson Court. I have so many good memories of gathering there with friends and with family, and it's nice that I can still visit that place now in real life, and not just in my mind. It's a comforting, comfortable place. :)

arg said...

I love this post. And even though I only know one of the authors, I love the comments, too!

Anonymous said...

Your house is a very comforting place. I feel very blessed to have been able to share so much time there in the recent past holiday seasons... It definitely feels like a haven. Carmackhaven. That's a big reason why Laura and I dropped in the other day. You and Sam and Shiloh and the house- the whole atmosphere is peaceful, loving, and life-affirming : )

So thanks !

alice said...

Nancy,I love your blogs..and especially today's. Both you and Elizabeth so often bring tears to my eyes with the ever-so-sweet memories you share with your readers.

Diana Corpus Garza said...

I shared on your page that I used to suffer from depression. Years ago I received a book on Sahmadi - a higher form of meditation - but it's similar to what you described in your blog. I meditated on scripture. I would pick my favorite scripture and place myself in that place. One of those favorites was the reading on the Fountain of Bethesma. The reading goes that a fountain in the center of the square contained healing powers brought about by the breath of angels. People would come from all over and wait for the still waters of the fountain to vibrate, indicating that the waters were "cleansed" ready heal. People would rush and jump in the fountain in a frenzy until the waters were no longer able to heal the multitudes. The waters would turn murky and the process would begin again.

There was a crippled man who made his way to Bethesma in hopes for a cure. He waited patiently for the waters to tremble, but everytime it would happen - his efforts to rise hindered by his handicap made it impossible for him to reach the fountain in time and the waters would be dirty again. So again he would return to his place to wait.

I could picture it all -the noise, the people, the injured man waiting, the fountain and the quivering waters as the angels breaths would clear the water...and I would watch as he struggled to raise himself up and watched him unable to succeed. Time after time he failed, then Jesus came upon the scene and I watched as Jesus approached the hurt man. The crippled person told Jesus how he kept trying to get in the fountain but failed at every attempt. Jesus then asked him, "If I say to you, You are healed - do you believe me?" At that question, the man's face changed and he said, "Yes." Threw his crutches down and stood up and walked. Entralled at what I was seeing before me, I hadn't seen Jesus facing me. When I raised my eyes and met his, I dropped to the ground in shame, unable to look at him. He addressed me and said,"Do you believe you are healed?" I didn't know what to answer. Healed of what, I thought. The experience of facing Jesus was more than I could handle and I popped out of my meditation. I didn't know what I had been healed of but I knew in time I would know. One thing after another became exposed, the people, the events, the heritage, I carried with me and one by one, each was lifted. My depression was healed and has been ever since. I was able to teach my daughters how to help themselves through meditation and they too have conquered depression when it had plagued my family from generation to generation. Remembering has brought tears to my eyes.

I have not been able to share this story with many people, peoples' eyes tend to glaze over when I mention "scripture" and Jesus. Thank you, Nancy..for so many things.

Carol said...

We loved White Haven, too from family gatherings. Betsy and Scott will never forget the year Uncle Andy let the Tennessee kid cousins dig a big hole to bury that giant rodent. What was that thing?

Pony cart and hayrides, singing and violin, laughter and prayer, fellowship and family--Margaret and Andy showed us all about life and love and joy. And we're blessed again--just thinking about it!

Julia said...

What a beautiful blog, Nancy. I have good memories at both of your houses in Colleyville. And your memory of White Haven brought tears to my eyes--it was such a wonderful place. I will never forget riding around in the cart singing "She'll be coming 'round the Mountain!"



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