Tuesday, March 30, 2010

I have pictures to post...

...and things to say here....

...but I'm so tired that I just want to say that I'm so tired.

Mother will read this and think (and say) the same thing.

She and I are in the throes of moving.

We're packing, but before we pack each and every item, she has to decide where each item goes: to her new place, to the estate sale, to the booth at Lone Star, to my place, or to the trash heap.
Or "Will so-and-so want this?"

This is moving like no other.
(Well, I don't think.)

I'm just hoping and praying she stays healthy through the move..... then she will enjoy the fruits of her labor.

Right, Mother?

(The following was written just a few minutes later.)
I'm feeling more rested suddenly!
I think writing that I was tired energized me.
Ah, the power of words written!!!

And read Deanna's comment (hit the 'comments' button)... it is wonderful...
(Oh and leave a comment, too. I LOVE COMMENTS.)


Deanna said...

Honey, I know EXACTLY what you guys are doing! I did it with my folks when we sold their house in 2004 and they moved into a retirement apartment. Then we did it again (sort of) when we had to move my dad into a room in the memory care unit in 2007. And AGAIN in 2008 when I moved them here to Fort Worth. And when my dad passed away last November. And again when I moved my mom into a different apartment last month. I guess we are STILL kind of doing it . . . I am still taking bits and pieces over to her that I had moved into my garage from my dad's room after he passed away. She came over to my house for a while yesterday, and wound up going through a few boxes I still have stored here and taking back a bag full of little stuff.

I know it can be exhausting for both of you. But it can also be a really special time for the two of you. Lots of memories come flooding back as you "handle" these things, and talk about them and make decisions about them. Enjoy this special time with your mom. And give her a hug from someone who remembers coming and staying at her home in Mission a zillion years ago during Spring Break :-D

Nancy said...

That's wonderful, Deanna.

Being Beth said...

I think Deanna said it all! As the keeper of the family heirlooms and history, I love touching items, remembering, feeling the feelings associated with each piece. My granddad wrote the story behind each piece or item as he sorted and later when we received these treasures, we knew the history of it - what it meant to him or to grandma or to his mother or father. That made them even more meaningful. They weren't long stories -- just a line or two, but all together they tell not only his story, but "our" collective family story.

sara [at] journey of doing said...

I went through the same thing with my great grandmother when she moved from Lubbock to Dallas. I totally understand - and I think Deanna did a great job of capturing it! She's incredible! I love her post -- every, single word of it.

Deanna said...

I just want to hug ALL of you :-D

One other little tidbit this morning, as I remember the first go'round of sorting and dividing and deciding (when my folks sold their house and had their estate sale).

Obviously, you can't take EVERYTHING when you downsize from a house to a retirement apartment. But there is always "stuff" that no one really seems to want right now, and would be meaningless to anyone in an estate sale. My mom and dad had set some things aside in the "we have no idea what to do with this stuff" pile. Oh, how I AGONIZED over that pile of things. Trying to decide what there was that TRULY no one could possibly have any use/desire for. And what I should hang onto "just in case." We were living in Ecuador, so I obviously couldn't take stuff with me. But I finally found a place to store stuff in the meantime, and wound up moving all of it a couple of times to other storage buildings, until we finally moved back to Texas, and I could retrieve it all. And I wound up with a garage and closets full of stuff that I still didn't know what to do with.

Now, I have the pleasure of pulling things out from time to time to give to the folks who have decided that they want them after all. Things like a big portrait of my late brother that was taken when he was a handsome 19 year old cool guy. It now hangs in his daughter's home, and she is thrilled to have it. My high school yearbooks. Some of my dad's "doo-dads." Sheet music I played (piano) growing up. My grandmother's chenille bedspread.

Now, don't start thinking that my house is like those folks on "Hoarders: Buried Alive"! I DO have a place to put everything. But someone will have a dandy estate sale when Kevin and I either downsize, or are gone . . . But sometimes there ARE things you need to hang onto. People DO change their minds about what they want and don't want. I can honestly say there is nothing that I decided to hang onto that I have regretted.

And the writing down of a brief description of stuff, where it came from, what it meant to someone, is a GREAT idea. I think I may have to actually start taking pics and downloading them with descriptions!

Nancy said...

Thanks for that last comment, Deanna.
That was great.... very helpful.

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