I've been telling you this week about my twin's sickness and death. (This week marks 21 years since she died at the age of 37 in 1989.) (Now you know how old I am.)
Anyway, she had this nurse-type lady named Ernestina. She actually may have just been a maid or something else in that hospice facility. Anyway, Ernestina was a lot of fun.... bringing much needed lightheartedness into that place. She looked kind of like that lady to the left only she had short hair. (I'm all about visual aids if I can get them.)
One day while I was there she and Peggy were talking about life and death, and Peggy told her, "Ernestina, I want to see you in heaven someday!"
"Oh, Peggy, I don't know. I'm kind of a scoundrel. I'm sure God doesn't want me there." (something like that)
Peggy said something like, "Ha! You're exactly the kind of person God wants in heaven... the kind who thinks they don't belong there!"
Peggy proceeded to share some stuff about Jesus - and why us being scoundrels (and worse) is exactly why we need a savior. ... etc.
Anyway, I think that really affected Ernestina. It seemed to be a profound revelation to her.
Fast forward just 2 weeks... Ernestina died suddenly (brain aneurysm)!
Now let's REWIND about 2 months:
This is about 5 months before Peggy died, and 2 months (maybe) BEFORE she talked to Ernestina (who we thought was in perfect health).
Peggy, Jim (her husband) and I are in the little living room area of the hospice apartment. Peggy begins to rock back and forth - not in a rocking chair - but on the couch.
"What if," she begins, "it's all a crock, a lie? What if there's nothing to it?"
"To what?" I asked.
"To God, and Jesus, and heaven and stuff."
Jim says, "Peggy, you're a Christian, aren't you? You're going to heaven, of course. It's simple."
"Simple??!!! What if it's NOT?! What if what I've heard about all my life and believed in is just nothingness? An illusion? Fairy tale stuff?"
(I was so understanding her then, yes.)
So Peggy started worrying. Well, she'd worried before. But now she was talking about it.
I wish I could tell you the 'rest of the story' - and how Peggy got her faith back, and how she came to peace with knowing Jesus WAS her Savior, and gave her eternal life. - but I didn't know her inner mind - and how she came to peace ....but I KNOW that she did - because that bout with doubt ceased. She quit talking like that (though I think it was GOOD that she talked like that then, by the way (I think questioning is good.)) and talked just the opposite: how God was with her... and leading her home. And she was sharing her faith with not just Ernestina, but others.... many others... from that hospice apartment.
She was sharing her faith when she couldn't get out of the hospital bed in the bedroom... and when she couldn't even raise her head.
It was AMAZING.
Oh, she was human. (If anybody knew that, I did.) She'd get very sad - and sometimes mad - that her days were numbered. She'd get sad especially when she'd look at the picture of little Cap and Elizabeth. Yet she was a firm believer that she was going to where she was going.... and she wanted those around her to go too.....
And I know Ernestina is there with her.
I know it!
(What a great sister I had.)
(I hope this made sense - I wrote it kind of fast.
I'm going to hit 'Publish' now - and well, I hope you understand it.)