Wednesday, April 14, 2010

I told you...

I told you yesterday that I would tell you today about what happened to me the morning of my twin sister's funeral (which was April 15, 1989).

Here's what happened:
We were staying in a hotel in Houston. I woke up and got ready. Then I woke up Sam.
"Why did you get up so early?" he asked.
"Well, the alarm went off." I replied.
Oops. We had mistakenly set the clock 2 hours early. The funeral was at 10 o'clock. I was going to get up at 8, but got up at 6.

So I had some time.

And I was feeling weird.

We had known for some time that Peggy's days were numbered, but I somehow wasn't ready.
I couldn't talk to her anymore.

I was sitting in a chair in the hotel room feeling weird.
I hadn't brought a book to read and I hadn't brought my Bible.
I grabbed the Gideon Bible that was in the drawer and just opened it. I wasn't really looking for anything. I mainly was just killing the weird time in which I found myself.

I randomly opened that Bible.
My eyes just fell on a verse and suddenly I felt like in a movie - when the room begins to go round and round, because something important is happening. (That happens in movies, right?)
Anyway, this is what I saw:
My breath is corrupt, my days are extinct, the graves are ready for me.
It was in Job, chapter 17, verse 1 (King James Version, since Gideon Bibles are only in the KJV).

Peggy's cancer had gone to her lungs and she was on a oxygen.... so her breath WAS corrupt.
Her days WERE extinct, and the grave WAS ready for her.... I mean, her funeral was THAT day. (She would be buried the next day in Colfax, TX, where all my dad's family is buried.)

I felt God hugging me that morning... though that sounds too flip, really.
I felt Him embracing me...profoundly.

Now, throughout Peggy's illness I (and she) had had moments of feeling particularly close to God. It really was uncanny how He made his presence known in all of our family's lives through that.

Still, that moment with Job 17:1 was amazing for me.
It gave me strength to go through the next few days...months, and years, even.

There's so much more to tell... about Peggy's days in the hospice facility, and her wonderful 'resignation' to her impending death.
There's also stuff to tell of well-meaning folks who came and told her if she had enough faith she would be up and out of that hospital bed. Oh brother. (Don't get me started.)

Well, in closing I WILL say that God DOES heal every disease..... except the last one.

(I will tell soon about Peggy's talking to a nurse named Ernestina ..... stay tuned.)


Elizabeth H. said...

I've always loved this story... God was comforting you and giving you peace in a time of turmoil - but beauty for her in that she was finally in Heaven.

Anonymous said...

Oh Nancy, but He DOES heal the last one. Eternally, FINALLY. When He makes our earthly bodies to be like His glorious body. When I will finally be healed of my MS, as Peggy is already cancer-free! I cannot wait for that day!

sara [at] journey of doing said...

I truly admire your ability to speak candidly about what those days were like for you. I really have no words. You make me want to cry -- tears of sorrow, for I can't imagine what it must be like to lose a twin... but also tears of joy for what is to come after this life.

Thank you for opening your heart to all of us in the blogosphere. I want to give you a big hug next time I see you.

Being Beth said...

Beautiful story, Nancy. Thank you for sharing such an intimate moment.

I wonder if you realize how much you've healed. When I first met you, you could barely say more than your twin sister had died of breast cancer. Now you're able to blog about it and encourage all of us who read your blog. Wow!

Rob said...

Thank you for sharing this story, Nancy. I'm sure it was not easy to type this out.

My hometown...

I am thinking of my hometown now. Mission, Texas. And McAllen, Texas. And Mercedes, Texas, where I was born. And Donna, Texas, so near there...