Lawyer: "Sir, what is your IQ?"
Defendant: "Well, I can see pretty well, I think."
- Testimony from court records
“In England, if you commit a crime, the police don't have a gun and you don't have a gun. If you commit a crime, the police will say "Stop, or I'll say stop again."”
"The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it."
-Franklin P. Jones
"When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out."
- Erma Bombeck
------Join the IRS (Be audit you can be)