Sunday, April 10, 2011

Sunday afternoons . . .

... can be very relaxing.

I mean, I have things to do, but it's Sunday, the day of rest.

So I must rest.

I must!

Well, and maybe blog a little.

There's really not a whole lot to say.

Well, Tuesday (April 12) marks the 22nd anniversary of my sweet twin's death.

This is a picture
taken of her
11 months
before she died.

She was just 37 years old.

She was diagnosed
with breast cancer
when she was 32 years old.

It was stage 4 cancer.

Yesterday in the tea room there were three ladies that came in wearing Susan G. Komen Race-for-the-Cure t-shirts. (Yesterday there was a race in Fort Worth, I believe.)
Two of the women's shirts had "I am a survivor" on them.

It's weird. I used to think I should race - or at least walk- in those things... for Peggy.
I just have no desire, frankly.

I used to think I should have a desire.

Now, I've given myself the grace to know that it's okay if I don't want to be with a bunch of survivors, and supporters.

It is okay.

I'll let a lot of you other folks (go Carol! and Rita!) walk and race. Yes. Thanks for doing it for Peggy Jean!! (I'm Nancy Jane. You see, we DO have the twinsy names .. but thanks, Mother and Daddy, for not making us Faye and May, or some such awfulness.)

I think about Peggy every single day. Every single day.

Oh, I don't get sad every single day.

But I still miss her.... after 22 years.

Oh, I could tell you how we prayed for healing.... and how well-meaning holy-joes told her she had cancer because she didn't have enough faith, etc.

I could go into all that ....
But I won't spend this restful Sunday afternoon getting worked up.

I know that God took her when He was ready.

And God has been faithful.... and loving.... and ever-present through it all.


And I'm so glad I was Peggy's twin.

Why, everybody ought to have a twin (like Peggy)!!!

I cannot imagine growing up not as a Peggy's twin, but by myself!!!

I just cannot.

Well, I better just hit 'publish post' ... and drink a Dr. Pepper.
I'm feeling good, now!! (I was teary writing the first part of this, now I'm smiling.)


Thanks for reading.


Being Beth said...

I love you, Nancy Jane!

Anonymous said...

I wish I could've known Peggy. I know she was a wonderful woman, based on the stories I've heard and the fact that she had you for a twin.

On a completely unrelated note, I've started a new blog... you should be able to figure out who I am based on the description ;)

(PS- I'm keeping this one anonymous)

Anonymous said...

Thank you for sharing about your sweet sister. I lost my brother 34 yrs ago and I think of him often. ( we were not twins, that has to be extra special) Our hope is we will see them again.

Nancy said...

I love you, too, Beth!!

And "Anonymous" - I DO know you!!
and love you..... and thanks for your sweet comment!

Nancy said...

Oh, my first comment was for the first 'anonymous'.

The second 'anonymous' - who lost your brother 34 years ago - thank you for your comment. Oh my. He must have been young. My heart goes out to you.

Bobbie said...

Folks, if you knew the White twins growing up in Mission, Texas, you were blessed. Of course, we also had the Williams twins - Diane and Dennis. Peggy and Nancy had it all - muusical talent, good grades, great personality, beauty, good honest hard-working parents and even then, a deep faith in their God. We all knew that they were outstanding, nice young women. I can't imagine how you must miss Peggy, but you'll see her again some day. And, I know you know that! God bless you as you recognize and reflect on this day coming up.

Nancy said...

Wow, Bobbie. That was really sweet!!

Audrey said...

Nancy, this is a beautiful tribute to Peggy. I'll bet she is smiling up in heaven right now. She was a loving, kind and such a talented woman, mother, daughter, sister, wife and friend to many. I remember you two at the piano singing together, such a sweet sound. It used to be the highlight of our family reunions and visits to Grandma and Grandpa White's to see you two. No matter what, she was always positive. She was a brave and gracious women right to the end. I am just so grateful to have known her. You two were just mirror images, yet each so individual....your mom and dad knew just how to do it right! Love to you sweet Nancy. My heart is with you.

sara [at] journey of doing said...

I love this post. Of course, I love hearing about Elizabeth's mom... and your twin. :) I'm certain she was a very special lady, just based on knowing the two of you!!

I think it's okay that you don't walk. We'll walk in Peggy's honor for you... Last year, my cousin decided she wanted to do Race for the Cure because she lost her mother to breast cancer a few years ago. It was a tough day for her. Everyone does it differently. And that's 100% okay. :)

I hope you had a restful Sunday filled with happy memories of your twin.

Unknown said...

Ahhh, that was so sweet Nancy, thanks for sharing Peggy. You know, I could never tell you two apart!!


Pat said...

Having a sister is so special. Peggy was blessed to have you as her were such a help and comfort to her.

My hometown...

I am thinking of my hometown now. Mission, Texas. And McAllen, Texas. And Mercedes, Texas, where I was born. And Donna, Texas, so near there...