Friday, April 13, 2012

I wasn't going to blog about yesterday...

... because I thought I'd get so sad,
...but I changed my mind.
[Sometimes I find it's healing to let myself be sad.]

Twenty-three years ago yesterday my twin died.  (That's her holding Baby Cap over 31 years ago.) (That shows how different we looked from each other, I think. Our voices were the same, though. Sam always thought it was me when she called.)

I think about her everyday... and often dream of her. Not that I'm sad everyday. No. But on our birthday, and on the anniversary of her death I do get sad.

I'm moving on and she's not.
Well, she's moved on to the ultimate move-on, I'd guess you'd say.

And I have crazy moments... like I'll see a picture of her and think, 'we don't have any recent pictures of her - just old pictures.'   Then it will dawn upon me that, of course we don't have recent pictures.   Crazy, huh?

There are lots of wonderful things I could say about her.

I should have talked about her when I got up at my 40th high school reunion and talked about myself... but I thought I'd start bawling. Really, though, I should have talked about her - and bawled if need be. I mean, there I was without her.

Well, I think I'll quit 'talking'... (so my mascara won't run)...

Here's a picture I love...

I so miss you, Peggy Jean. (I'm Nancy Jane.)
But I'm so glad I get to be so close to your kids and grandkids....
That's Cap, with his nephew, Andrew.

And here is Elizabeth with her family...
I have to say, "Gig 'em!" when I see that picture!!

I got to spend time with Elizabeth yesterday, and we cried together.
Bless her heart, her mom died when she was just barely seven years old. (And when she did know her mom, her mom was sick.)

Oh, she honored her mom on Facebook yesterday... and got like 50 comments. It was wonderful.

If I haven't told you about how God 'spoke' to me on the morning of her funeral, I need to.... It was WONDERFUL.
(I'll share that someday (though many of you know it.))

Well, I guess I better go.
I'm breaking my rule of having short blog-posts.

6 comments:

Bobbie said...

Beautiful, Nancy. Peggy and you were All American Christian girls - pretty, sweet, studious, outgoing, talented, involved, Homecoming Princesses, Citrus Fiesta duchesses (?) - everything you could ask for in a young woman. I know you miss her terribly, but isn't it comforting to see her in her children and grandchildren and also to know that you'll be with her again some day. She certainly has magnificent offspring! All are beautiful/handsome and I'm sure as sweet as she was. God bless you, friend.

Bobbie said...

Beautiful, Nancy. Peggy and you were All American Christian girls - pretty, sweet, studious, outgoing, talented, involved, Homecoming Princesses, Citrus Fiesta duchesses (?) - everything you could ask for in a young woman. I know you miss her terribly, but isn't it comforting to see her in her children and grandchildren and also to know that you'll be with her again some day. She certainly has magnificent offspring! All are beautiful/handsome and I'm sure as sweet as she was. God bless you, friend.

Anonymous said...

It made me cry. - Sam

Nancy said...

Wow. Those comments are wonderful!!!

Audrey said...

I cried too. I remember her like it was yesterday. The last family reunion she attended you two played the piano and sang at your parents' home. Oh my! So beautiful and such a beautiful voice. She is such a testimony to life and all its goodness.

Julia said...

Love you, Nancy.