A: Nacho cheese!
Q: What rock group has four men that don't sing?
A: Mount Rushmore
A man goes to a housewarming party.
He turns up the thermostat then leaves.
A farmer was counting his cows and initially only counted 196, but when he rounded them up he had 200.
Father: "Son, when Abraham Lincoln was your age, he walked 12 miles to school."
Son: "Dad, when Abraham Lincoln was your age, he was President.”
Confucius say: Man who want pretty nurse, must be patient.
The elevator in our building malfunctioned one day, leaving several of us stranded. Seeing a sign that listed two emergency phone numbers, I dialed the first and explained our situation. After what seemed to be a very long silence, the voice on the other end said, “I don’t know what you expect me to do for you; I’m a psychologist.” “A psychologist?” I replied. “Your phone is listed here as an emergency number. Can’t you help us?” “Well,” he finally responded in a measured tone. “How do you feel about being stuck in an elevator?”