Saturday, August 8, 2015

Are you kidding me?!

Here are some funnies I like...

Why did the football coach go to the bank? 
To get his quarter back. 

Q: Did you hear about the cannibals that attended the wedding? 
A: They toasted the bride and groom.

A man found a brass lamp, rubbed it vigorously, and a genie appeared.
"For freeing me from the lamp, I will grant you any wish you desire," the genie said.
The man replied, "I want a spectacular job.
A challenge that no man has ever succeeded at or has ever even dared try."
"Poof!" Said the genie. "You're a housewife."


What did the tired chess player do?
He took the knight off

The elevator in our building malfunctioned one day, leaving several of us stranded. Seeing a sign that listed two emergency phone numbers, I dialed the first and explained our situation. After what seemed to be a very long silence, the voice on the other end said, “I don’t know what you expect me to do for you; I’m a psychologist.” “A psychologist?” I replied. “Your phone is listed here as an emergency number. Can’t you help us?” “Well,” he finally responded in a measured tone. “How do you feel about being stuck in an elevator?”

A man tried to sell me a coffin the other day but that's the last thing I need!

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My hometown...

I am thinking of my hometown now. Mission, Texas. And McAllen, Texas. And Mercedes, Texas, where I was born. And Donna, Texas, so near there...