Saturday, December 17, 2016

Holiday Funnies....

Whether you've read these crazies before or not, I hope they bring a smile...


How does Santa know whether we've been bad or good? It's called Facebook.

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What’s a good Christmas tip?
Never catch snowflakes with your tongue until all the birds have gone south for the winter.

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How do you know that Santa is a man?
Answer: No woman wears the same attire every year.





What would you call an elf who just has won the lottery?
Answer: Welfy

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Which elf was the best singer?
Answer: ELFis Presley.




What do elves sing to Santa?
Answer: Freeze a Jolly Good Fellow!

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What carol is heard in the desert?

O camel ye faithful!




Why don't you ever see Father Christmas in hospital?
Because he has private elf care!

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How did Mary and Joseph know that Jesus was 7lb 6oz when he was born?
They had a weigh in a manger!

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A guy bought his wife a beautiful diamond ring for Christmas.
A friend of his said, "I thought she wanted one of those pretty 4-wheel drive vehicles?"
"She did," he replied, "But where in the world was I going to find a fake jeep!”





Everyone's heard of Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer as the ninth reindeer, but many people don't know that there is a tenth one whose name was Olive.
"Olive the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names..."





December is the month when the kids begin to discuss what to get Dad for Christmas. 
Some insist on a shirt.
Others insist on a pair of socks.
The argument always ends in a tie.

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I hope some of that brought at least a smile.

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