Monday, January 16, 2017

Monday Funday

There is so much VITRIOL ('harsh and angry words' from Merriam Webster Dictionary) on Facebook and in the news media about Friday's inauguration that I thought it might be a good time for some funnies. (Don't worry, none are political.)

I've posted some of these before. Here they are in case you missed them (or want to smile again)...


'Excuse me, are you a pole vaulter?'

'No I'm German, but how did you know my name is Walter?'

Morty and Saul are out one afternoon on a lake when their boat starts sinking. Saul, a banker, says to Morty, "Listen, Morty, I should probably tell you, I don't swim so well."
Morty, who worked as a lifeguard when he was younger, begins tugging and pulling on Saul, helping him float towards shore.
After twenty minutes, he begins to tire. Finally about 50 feet from shore, Morty asks, "Saul, do you suppose you could float alone?"
Saul looks at Morty and then replies, "This is a heck of a time to be asking for money!”


A bank robber pulls out a gun, points it at the teller, and says, "Give me all the money or you're geography!"
The puzzled teller replies, "Did you mean to say 'or you're history?'"
The robber says, "Don't change the subject!”

What did the monkey say when he caught his tail in the revolving door?
It won't be long now.



What do you do when you see a SPACEMAN?
You park your car in it!



At the vending machine, a man put in his coins and watched powerlessly while the cup failed to appear. One nozzle sent coffee down the drain while another poured cream after it.
“Now that’s real automation!" he exclaimed. “It even drinks for you.”


And finally..


That's all for today.

Think happy thoughts this week.

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