Sunday, May 7, 2017

Are You Kidding Me?


Dentist: Little Johnny, you're not brushing your teeth very well. Do you know what comes after decay?
Little Johnny: De ‘L'?

I went to see my doctor this morning. “Some one decided to graffiti my house last night!” I raged.
“So why are you telling me?” the doctor asked.
“I can't understand the writing,” I replied. “Was it you?”



Called to the scene of a magnificent celestial display, the professor watched as a bright object dashed through the skies over New Mexico.
When he returned to his observatory, reporters asked him if what he had seen was really a UFO.
Looking them straight in the eye, the impassive scientist replied, “No comet.”



A Lady on a commuter train is reading a newspaper article about life and death statistics. Fascinated, she turns to the man next to her and asks, “Did you know that every time I breathe somebody dies?”

“Really?” he says. “Have you tried a good mouthwash?”


(I've put this one up before. I think it's great .)


And finally...

My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start.
So far today, I have finished 2 bags of chips and a chocolate cake.
I feel better already.


I hope you at least smiled at one of these.
I did.

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