In the clothing store she asked, "May I try on that dress in the window, please?"
"Certainly not, madam,'" responded the salesgirl. "You'll have to use the fitting room like everyone else.”
Did you hear about the new garlic diet?
You don't actually lose weight, but you look thinner from a distance.
A distraught older woman is looking at herself in the mirror and crying. Her voice shakes as she says to her husband, "I'm so old. I'm so fat. I look horrible. I really need a compliment."
Her husband, determined to quickly give his beloved the comfort she needs, exclaims, "Darn, do you have good eyesight!"
There was this limo driver who was in business for 25 years without a single customer...
All that time and nothing to chauffeur it.
It was Halloween night... A man was walking home from work when he heard thump noises behind him.
He turned around and saw a coffin following him.
He was scared and started to run, the coffin kept right up with him.
He got to his house ran through the front door, locked it and ran upstairs.
The coffin busted through the front door and followed the man upstairs.
The man ran for his life and then locked himself in the bathroom.
The coffin burst into the bathroom.
The man totally freaked out reached into the medicine cabinet and grabbed what he could find.
What he grabbed was cough drops. He threw the cough drops at the coffin and the coffin stopped.
Yes, those were silly.
Sometimes I like silly.