Friday, April 27, 2018

Getting Older Funnies

He’s so old that when he orders a three-minute egg, they ask for the money up front.
- George Burns

When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.
-George Burns

Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age — as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.
-Phyllis Diller

A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year. I told him, “At my age, I don’t even buy green bananas.”
-Claude Pepper

You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.
-Woody Allen


Have a great weekend!

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