Friday, March 15, 2019

Friday Fun

As I type I am in a coffee shop in Portland with Laura. Ransom is in preschool at the moment, and so Laura and I are having some time with just the two of us. We've talked about almost everything, so now we're on our laptops.

Later I will blog about my Oregon time, but for now I want to randomly post some funnies, for fun.

Here we go:
Did you hear about the drummer who gave his daughters the same names?
Anna 1, Anna 2, Anna 3, Anna 4.

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Did you hear about the new surgery kit that lets the patients sew up his own incisions?
It's called Suture Yourself.

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One Sunday morning, the priest saw little Davey staring up at the large plaque that hung in the church's foyer. The plaque was covered with names and small American flags were mounted on either side of it.

"Father Donovan," the boy asked, "what is this?

"Well, son, it's a memorial to all the young men and women who died in the service," the priest explained. They stood together quietly, staring at the memorial plaque.

Little Davey softly asked, "Which service? The 9:00 or the 10:30?"

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Why were the tomatoes in the fridge embarrassed?
They saw the salad dressing.

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A man goes to the doctor for a checkup. The doctor checks him out thoroughly doing various tests. He then goes back to his table and sits down. "I'm prescribing these pills for you," he says.

Noting the weird name of the prescription, the man asks, "What am I taking now?"

"Oh, I don't want you to swallow them. Just spill them on the floor twice a day and pick them up, one at a time.”
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What did the female dinosaur call her blouse making business?
"Try Sara's Tops!"

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Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says, "John, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age, how do you feel?"

John replies, "I feel just like a newborn baby."

"Really! Like a newborn baby, you say?"

"Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I even drool on myself."

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There was this limo driver who was in business for 25 years without a single customer...
All that time and nothing to chauffeur it.

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 I think that last cartoon is my favorite funny of the group.
Do you have a favorite funny (of those)?
(No Pressure)

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