Monday Funday

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A man asked a widow if he could say a word at her husband’s funeral.
She told him he could.
When it comes time, he stands and says “Plethora”.
She said, “Thanks, John. That says so much.”

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A lady was walking in a field and fell down a well.
Her friend said, “Well, she could never see that well.”

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An ancient Greek walks into his tailor's shop with a torn pair of pants.
"Euripides?" Asks the tailor.
"Yeah, Eumenides?" Replies the man.

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 What do you call a man with no arms or legs who gets into a fight with his cat?
Claude
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Q. What’s the Easter Bunny’s favorite restaurant?
A. IHOP!

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Q: What do you call an egg from outer space?
A: An “Egg-stra terrestial”

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An old guy was working out in the gym when he spotted an attractive young lady.
He asked a nearby trainer, "What machine should I use to impress that lady over there?"
The trainer looked him up and down and said, "I would try the ATM in the lobby.
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A duck is standing next to a busy road, cars zooming past while he waits for a break in traffic.
A chicken walks up to him and says, "Don't do it, man. You'll never hear the end of it.”
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How do you catch a unique rabbit?
Unique up on it.
How do you catch a tame rabbit?
Tame way.  Unique up on it.
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Q: What did the Easter bunny say to the carrot?
A: It’s been nice gnawing you.


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I hope you got a chuckle with these, on this Monday morning.