Monday, May 6, 2019

Monday Funday

I said to my wife, "I need to call the doctor today."
"Which doctor?" she asked.
"No, the regular kind.”



Why don't Aggies eat barbecue beans?

Because they keep falling through the holes in the grill.



Why didn't the melons get married?
Because they cantaloupe!


Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Dozen who?
Dozen anybody want to let me in?



How many telemarketers does it take to change a lightbulb?
One, but they have to do it while you're eating dinner!


"This house," said the real estate salesperson, "has both its good points and its bad points. To show you I'm honest, I'm going to tell you about both. The disadvantages are that there is a chemical plant one block south and a slaughterhouse a block north."

"What are the advantages?" inquired the prospective buyer.

"The advantage is that you can always tell which way the wind is blowing."



My wife calls me handsome...

Every payday she says to me, "Hand some over!”



A Policeman stops a speeding car and tells the woman driver, "When I saw you driving down the road, I thought to myself, 'sixty-five at least.'”

"SIXTY-FIVE!" shrieked the woman.

"Yes, sixty-five."

"I don’t think that is quite fair. I think this hat makes me look older.”


That's all for today.
Have a great week!!!

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