Monday, September 9, 2019
I've started a new exercise program.
I do twenty sit-ups every morning.
That may not sound like a lot, but you can only hit that SNOOZE button just so many times...
After a long, dry sermon, the minister announced that he wished to meet with the church board after the service. The first man to arrive was a stranger.
“You misunderstood my announcement. This is a meeting of the board of the church,” said the minister.
“That is why I am here,” said the man. “If there is anyone here today more bored than I am, I’d like to meet him or her.”
A young man walked into our insurance office to purchase coverage for his new motorcycle. Only one question confused him. "Do you have a lien holder on the vehicle?"
"I've got a kickstand," the prospect replied. "Is that the same thing?”
Why didn’t the frog sit on the toadstool?
Because there wasn’t mushroom.
My new neighbor, Hans, just moved to the states from Norway and was arrested for speeding... driving 66 miles an hour in a 50 mph zone. However, he explained to the officer, "I saw a big sign with 66 on it."
"That's highway 66," the officer said disgustedly.
Hans replied, "You should have seen me yesterday on Highway 110!”
One shop owner asks another, "So, have you had any responses to your ad that you're looking for a night watchman?"
"Yeah, we got robbed last night.”
That's all for today.
I hope your week is funny. Or at least fun.
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