Monday, September 9, 2019

Monday Fun



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I've started a new exercise program.

I do twenty sit-ups every morning.

That may not sound like a lot, but you can only hit that SNOOZE button just so many times...

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After a long, dry sermon, the minister announced that he wished to meet with the church board after the service. The first man to arrive was a stranger.

“You misunderstood my announcement. This is a meeting of the board of the church,” said the minister.

“That is why I am here,” said the man. “If there is anyone here today more bored than I am, I’d like to meet him or her.”

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A young man walked into our insurance office to purchase coverage for his new motorcycle. Only one question confused him. "Do you have a lien holder on the vehicle?"

"I've got a kickstand," the prospect replied. "Is that the same thing?”
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Why didn’t the frog sit on the toadstool?

Because there wasn’t mushroom.

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My new neighbor, Hans, just moved to the states from Norway and was arrested for speeding... driving 66 miles an hour in a 50 mph zone. However, he explained to the officer, "I saw a big sign with 66 on it."

"That's highway 66," the officer said disgustedly.

Hans replied, "You should have seen me yesterday on Highway 110!”


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One shop owner asks another, "So, have you had any responses to your ad that you're looking for a night watchman?"

"Yeah, we got robbed last night.”

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That's all for today.

I hope your week is funny. Or at least fun.

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